Muyiwa, son of the late former governor of old Oyo State,Chief Bola Ige, has revealed how he would have loved to get married at 25.
The ex-commissioner, who got married 17 years ago, at 33, however, said that ”I have no regret. It was my own chosen time and God’s appointed time. If I had to do it differently, I would do it at maybe 25. At 25, I was working and earning a good living but I just thought that I was not there yet. Not temperament wise but getting ready.”
Speaking in an interview with Sunday Punch, Muyiwa also revealed that ”there wasn’t any apprehension about me getting married even though I got married late at the age of 33. I just needed to be sure that I had the right temperament for marriage, having lived by myself for 18 years. I was always set in my ways but I knew that sooner or later, I would assist the population growth by getting married and having kids. Then I got married to my wife.”
Asked if it is late to marry at 33, he answered: “It is late for anybody. I am talking from a human being perspective. If you start having children in your early 30s, by the time you are 50, you will still be paying school fees and you could be retired and still continue paying school fees of your kids. The most ideal thing is to be married not later than 25.”
He explained further that “I got married in January 2000 and became a father in December of the same year,” adding that “It’s was a pretty special occasion when I held my son for the first time. His coming to this world was extraordinary in many ways. It dawned on me that levels have changed. Beyond taking care of my wife and be responsible to the creation that God had given us, I presented the ability to demonstrate the power of God in me.
“I was proud and elated. Fortunately at the time, my parents were still alive. The best part is that my father gave my son all his names. He named him James, Ajibola and Isola. We just managed to slot in Olumayowa which means God has brought our joy. My father was very proud because he is the first grandson of the Ige family.”
He was not with his wife when she was delivered of all his children.
“I was not there when my first child was born. I did not even witness the birth of any of them. Interestingly, my father was not there when we were all born. I missed that opportunity,” adding that ”If I had the chance, I would want to be there. What I am not sure of is if I had the courage to see my wife in that pain of joy. But we thank God, as much as I was not there, we had three great natural births.”
He said ”fatherhood means a huge responsibility and a sense of purpose. It also means that one is privileged to be a parent. Whatever way you look at it, it is fulfilling a big responsibility to your offspring.”
On how he creates time for his family while serving as a commissioner in Osun, he noted that “being a political office holder takes a lot of one’s time. Moreover, my family lived in Ibadan while I was serving the good people of Osun in that state and living in Osogbo. But I made sure that I spent quality time with my wife and kids every weekend. I tried not to schedule any meeting at that time and whatever I did on a weekend was centred round the family.
“Even before I took up political appointment, I was always on the road. I have offices in Accra, Lagos and Ibadan so I was always on the road during the week but at home during the weekend. I appreciate my family sacrifice but it is something that had to be done because it’s all for them. We have an unbreakable, harmonious relationship.”
Is the father of 3, all boys, disturbed not having a girl?
He said: “it may be unfortunate that I don’t have a girl when I remember the saying that at old age, girls look after the father and boys look after the mother. But I have three lovely boys and there is nothing I can do about it again. No more kid is coming. The boys will have to go out there and bring home lovely girls that will become our daughters. I don’t have girls and that is the way God wants it. Interestingly, my wife is the only female in her family. I think she will love it that way.”
He said he is passing to his kids some of the values he learned from his late father. “I learnt from him unflinching love, respect, humility and integrity. He valued good education and preached being your brother’s keeper. I made sure that my children value the love we have for them and the love that others have for them. Every greeting to them shows our love for them. That was also with my parents. When a child knows that the parents love them, they are always confident and they can always hold their heads high not in term of arrogance.
“My parent did not use the horse whip even though they were disciplinarians. They might not want to spank you but my parents would say remember the son of whom you are. That is worse than being spanked. My mum only beat me once. The driver was sent to come and pick me in school but I was watching a movie and the driver did not find me. I was a day pupil but I spent the night in the boarding house. In the morning, my mother came to pick me on her way to court; she took me to her chambers and beat me.
“My children try not to do the wrong things because we set an example for them to know what is right and what is wrong. We instill in them strong values which our parents gave to us. If they want something, they know that they have to ask for it and not just going to take it.
What challenges does he face as a father?
“I will not say that there is a challenge. It is life and you deal with what it brings. I do not have any problem with my kids. My first son is in a university now. He had seven distinctions in his final examination in secondary school. He is studying architecture in Chicago, US.
“I am also an architect but his selection of that course had nothing to do with me. He chose it freely. I wanted him to be a lawyer like my parents but he chose something else and we supported him. He applied to the school and he was given a scholarship. At 16, he is the youngest in his class. He plays football for the school.
“His immediate younger brother wants to be a lawyer. He is 14 and the baby of the house, who just started secondary school, is 10. They are slowly moving up to manhood. We pray that the foundation we have built will withstand the super structure of progress and excellence.”
He also disclosed that “the births of all my kids remain my joy” as a father, adding that “greatest means the crowning glory but I am not there yet. I have joy watching my kids growing up. I am proud of them.”
On how kids without father figures experience quality parenting, he revealed how as a college student, he was part of big brother, big sister project “where we go into the communities and adopt a child to mentor. Once in a while, you help them with their home work and take them out. They could be orphans or children in foster homes.
“Anyone who has an opportunity should endeavour to help the less privileged. I encourage my children to volunteer to help people in the neighbourhood. It’s good to always lend a helping hand.”
Muyiwa, who said he stopped cooking 20 years ago, said he has never prevented his children from interacting with the extended members of the family.
“My children appreciate the fact that they are from the Ige family. When we go to Esa-Oke, Osun State, they meet hundreds of people coming to the house. They are conscious of the Ige dynasty and the value it represents. My son teaches some of the children mathematics and they blend with everybody in the family.
“My son organises a football competition for children where the winners go home with N100, 000 cash prize. He has been hosting the competition for the last two years and we support him, ” he said.
