It was in sunny afternoon in 2010, when I had a usual father-daughter discussion with Adeola Oguntala, who I had mentored among others in my University days, the usual discussion led to meeting Abimbola later that year and from the moment we first met, I told my self and close allies that I had found a wife.
Our love and bond grew so fast that we had envisaged getting married few weeks after our first meeting, the chemistry was that strong, we grew in love and expanded our bonds. We also extended our relationship to immediate families, friends and associate.
Our introduction came in May 29, 2011 and we got married in a very elaborate circumstance on Sept 3, 2011.
We waited for four years before the arrival of our first child , Abdulkhafid. What is special about the period of our waiting is that my wife never for a moment or day doubted our ability to became parents despite understandable and diplomatic pressure from family and concerns from friends.
Following the arrival of our first son, medics had advised us to space out in further child bearing due to some circumstances of the arrival of our beloved son. In all honesty, we had both somehow, even without discussing it settled to have only Abdulkhafid. However, Abimbola noticed she was pregnant while in Holy land of Mecca in July 2019, I was extremely happy and monitored all her movement and routine activities while in the holy land. On her return, while driving her home from the airport, my wife noticed me staring probingly at her tummy to see if there was a difference and retorted “mr man calm down your baby is just two months old”. We carried on fine as the baby grew in my wife’s tummy and the expectant body changed from month to month just like in the case of Abdulkhafid.
I had traveled to Abuja in February of 2020, when my wife called that the medics would need my attention during her next ante-natal appointment. I thought it was to pick a date for the selective Ceaserian session but it wasn’t, it was medical condition that needed monitoring, I stayed back with her for two weeks so as to enable us monitor the situation, we returned to the clinic on March 18, 2020. After series of tests, an emergency CS was suggested to safe both the baby and my beloved wife, without discussing it, we agreed to the emergency CS, while she was being prepared for the procedure, I was busy paying bills and buying stuffs as prescribed by the team, Abimbola had also informed my mother inlaw of the development and even though she was miles away, she left all her engagement and raced to Abeokuta.
The procedure started at about 3pm and lasted till about 6pm. At this time I had picked Abdulkhafid with me from school , we were just hanging around the hospital praying and hoping nothing goes wrong when I got a call from the team on my wife’s phone that the process has been completed, for the doctor to have used my wife’s phone which is usually passworded because of our son’s love for games and cartoons , means that my wife was conscious as of the time the team called me that doubeld my joy. I quickly moved to the theatre entrance and followed the nurse holding our new arrival to the baby Ward, my wife was wheeled to join us few minutes later and by this time, my mother inlaw had arrived. I was extremely happy seeing our son and my wife.
After assisting the nurses in placing her on the bed prepared for her , she smiled and asked me to thank the team for a job well done and I nodded in agreement. It was becoming late, Abdulkhafid was still in school uniform and hungry, so I left the clinic at about 10pm with my son waving good bye to his mum unknowingly for the last time with my brother in-law (Diekolaoluwa) who came in the company of my mother inlaw.
Unlike when Abdulkhafid came , I had strange and unexplainable feelings and I couldn’t inform anyone not even my parents that my wife has been delivered of a baby. I was waiting till the following morning when she would have fully recovered to do that. At about 5am , my mother inlaw sent me a message saying, “we thank God they are both fine ,pls bring wrapper and her things while coming” I was happy to hear that and I put a call through immediately she told me what and what to bring and how I will prepare Abdulkhafid for school, she also told me to branch at her office and inform them that she has put to bed. As I was preparing Abdulkhafid for school, my mother inlaw called and said I should come to the hospital as fast as I could, so I hurriedly dropped my boy at school and went straight to the hospital. As I got to the second floor, a nurse called and said the doctor would like to see me inside the theatre. I entered the very sacred place and met them all heads down in an atmosphere that screamed loud and clear that things had gone south. They asked me to sit and they broke the news to me , that was all I remembered, I woke up few minutes later after their efforts to resucitate me , at this time my mother inlaw wasn’t far from the theater’s entrance door, I couldn’t shout , I couldn’t cry , I felt like dying, I really didn’t know what to say or do or who to call .After few minutes, the team lead , suggested that I called my parents, my Mum is hypertensive and my Dad would be at home by that time with her , so I called my dad and told him to leave the house that I wanted to report my Mum to him, eventually I told him and his reaction wasn’t really different from mine , I called few other friends who were in Abeokuta, all of a sudden, I remembered a doctor friend of mine who is a family friend so I called him to join me may be he could help and bring her back but alas the deed has been done .
Since then, my mother in-law has been wonderful taking care of our boys as if though they are with their parents, she has remained exceptionally strong despite losing my father in-law at exactly three months after my wife’s departure.
Bringing a child into the world with the person you love is one of the most exciting and terrifying times of your life. With a whole host of expectations and anxiety.
My wife was very upright and loving. Abimbola practically kept the family together till she left , that we were married till she left was majorly her efforts.
She brought up our first son in the best way possible.
She was a dutiful wife, mother and friend.
I am not in doubt that she will rest peacefully. Sleep well and good night my beloved wife ,Abimbola Rashida Aduke Abdulazeez.
Since that event, we have received support from family, friends and colleagues. I appreciate them all. I like to make specific mention of my mother inlaw, a wonderful woman, my boss, Mr Funso Ojo, Kunle and Lara Olayeni, Samson and Kash Oladini, Suleman Fasasi, Dr Dunsi, Wale and Sunbo Eleto, Dayo and Yemisi Fadugba, Yinka Olukoya, Yetunde Fatungase, Niyi Hamzat, Aunty Yinka Bode-Are among several others, On behalf of Abdulkhafid and Abdulkhaliq, I say thank you for your love, support and care towards my family.
Ibrahim Opeyemi Abdulazeez writes from Ibadan, the Oyo state capital.
